Go With The Flow

Years ago, I remember watching the movie Forrest Gump. It started with a white feather free flowing in the breeze. It was a visual metaphor for Forrest’s life journey. His life was about someone following the flow without attachment to the results. There weren’t any “what ifs”, there was no second guessing and there was no anxiety. He dealt with what life brought him at the present moment and made the best of it. He was not intellectually gifted but had many great accomplishments. There was no ego, only life and going with the flow. It was brilliant. The movie ended with the feather continuing to blow in the breeze. Of course, because going with the flow never ends.

For years I experienced life as a struggle. I felt like I was always going against the current. As people around me struggled, I thought that’s how life was supposed to be until I learned how to go with the flow. What does that mean anyway? And how does one learn to go with the flow? Ah…life is truly about the questions.

To go with the flow means to be in the experience without judging it, without wanting to change it or control it. Accepting things exactly as they are. Easier said than done! I wish I could say I’ve mastered it and that I am beyond those learned impulses but I am not. Going with the flow is a work in progress. One thing is certain, the more ease that comes into living my life, the more ease I want.

In order to go with the flow we have to trust in the process of life. It’s an affirmation from Louise Hayes I use often especially when I’m anxious and unsure. It works! If you want to see a great examples of going with the flow watch nature shows. You will see that everything has its time. Recently I watched Connected on Netflix, in the episode called Digits they describe Benford’s Law. It shows us how there is a natural order to everything. It’s hard to consider with all of the craziness that goes on.

To go with the flow, we have to believe we are exactly where we need to be, having the experiences we need to have, in order to help us grow. Sometimes the experiences are positive other times not so much. Surrendering to all of it is hard. I’m not gonna lie. Most of us go through life wanting what we want, when we want it and how we want it. It creates a never ending cycle of never really being happy. It’s not so fun!

Going with the flow requires us to let go and let be, like the serenity prayer “…give me the courage to accept the things I cannot change”. It requires us to be present instead of reactive. In one of my favorite poems by Brenda McMorrow she says “…and may I be in allowance of others having their own experience.” Wow…how many times do we try to control the outcome? Ugh… We struggle against our own patterns of behavior. Patterns we’ve been practicing for years consciously or not, like deep grooves in the sand that keep us stuck.

Finally, we have to be able to release our attachment to the end result. This is probably the hardest. Accepting that the outcome is exactly what it needs to be. What?!? Most of us want what we want, when we want it and how we want it. However it may not be for our higher good. What seems like a big disappointment or a failure may simply be because it is not the right opportunity for us. It was not serving our higher good.

I remember when I first started teaching Zumba. I went on an audition and the owner was in the process of  building this beautiful new studio with a stage etc., and I wanted to be part of her crew. I didn’t get the job. I was so disappointed I cried. Then I met people who worked for her. They didn’t have nice things to say.  Her personal life was a wreck and the studio closed after only three years. Meanwhile the studio I was working at renovated their fitness room, made it bigger, more beautiful and added a stage! I’m still there today almost ten years later. Looking back I was happy I didn’t get that job.

It’s worth the effort to learn how to go with the flow. After a while life begins to feel effortless, exactly as it’s intended to feel, like a feather blowing in the wind, unfettered.  I am grateful for yoga, both the physical and spiritual practice. It has been essential in teaching me how to go with the flow. It’s helped me be aware of my attachments to superficial aspirations. If my desires are not aligned with my higher good, I can feel myself struggle against the current. I am learning to fine tune my internal go with the flow barometer, because my intention is to live life serendipitously.  At least now I know it’s possible.

3 Things To Help Stay Positive

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know about you, but for me, staying positive in these challenging times is difficult. It is the combination of political unrest, violence, hatred, deadly virus, masks, a new school schedule.  And we could add a few more things to that list as it pertains to our personnel life. Ugh! Take a deep breath. So, what are you doing to keep a healthy frame of mind midst the chaos?

Here are a few things that help me:

  1. Practice Thought Awareness: I try to be mindful of the thoughts that are running through my head, which are a lot all the time. I’m sure you can relate. For the most part if you can be aware of what you’re thinking, you’ll know when you in the negative zone. The important part is to release judgement. Allow yourself to think whatever you need to, note it, then let it go, just like that. I know it sounds simplistic and not in a good way. However, know that each thought releases a chemical composition. If you’re holding on to negative thoughts that negativity is building up in your body, affecting your overall health and wellbeing. Ask yourself, is it worth it? When your in the negative zone nothing is right. so be mindful or your thoughts.
  2. Pamper yourself:  Make time to give your body love and attention. What thing does not thrive with a little love and attention? Plants, pets, a house, a child, etc. Our bodies are no different. I love to give myself a mani/pedi. I take time in the shower to soften my feet with a pumice rock. Then afterwards I turn on a fun romantic comedy as I finish working on my toes and fingers. I follow the with a nice foot massage using Burt Bee’s hand salve. The next day I feel like a million bucks. There is something to sending time giving your body love and attention that soothes the soul, perhaps it’s because your body is the scared temple for your soul? Connecting with yourself through grooming will always brighten my mood.
  3. Get Rest: We’ve all had those days. You’ve had enough and it’s only seven o’clock. You’re mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted and life looks bleak. When we’re exhausted its difficult to see any good in anything. Trust me I’ve been there. When you’re feeling like this, it is not the time to ponder the future or make major decisions, its time to go to bed! People underestimate the negative impact of not getting proper rest. It taints everything you do, think and say and not in a positive way. Next time you have one of those days, do what I do. I make the decision that I am done for the day. First thing I do is turn off my phone I am officially offline, and I leave it in downstairs to charge. I disconnect from electronical devices. I get myself ready for bed. A hot shower is always a good way to calm the nervous system and soothe the spirit. I get into bed and read something inspirational and uplifting. I always have uplifting material on my nightstand that I can easily get to. Reading inspiring text, even if it’s a book of quotes, infuses the spirit with hope.

One of my favorite quotes, because its true is “Self-care is our divine responsibility”. If you’re having a day when everything and everyone is pissing you off, then maybe it’s time to turn inward and take care of yourself. We cannot control what happens to us, however we can control how we respond.

I wish I could tell you that once you do self-care things once or twice, it lasts forever but it doesn’t. Self-care is a vigilant constant. A practice everyday even when you don’t  feel like it. There are days I am better at it than others. One thing I know for sure, on those days I make a conscious effort to take care of my self, I am more even keeled, happier and my outlook on life is more positive.

 

How to Stay Sane

This is a great article with sound advice on how to stay sane in this phase of social distancing and staying in place. We are all responsible for our well-being: body, mind and spirit.

We’re turning to the professional guidance of Dr. Smith. Her suggestions are easy to work with during these challenging times.

Take a few minutes to read the entire article written by Suzanne J. Smith, Ph.D for Lakefront Psychology Blog.

Here are a few of my favorites from this list:

-Eat and drink in ways that nourish you.

-Develop a new normal. 

-Connect with people you care about.

-Be compassionate with yourself and others. 

-Create things to look forward to.

 

February-The Month of Love-ing Kindness

This is the month to recognize and show love. It should be a 365-day-a-year practice! Nevertheless, it’s beautiful that we have a day that puts love on the calendar. One of my favorite “love” practices, is Metta Meditation.  Metta Meditation comes from the Buddhist philosophy. It is the conscious practice of sending loving kindness. It’s a simple meditation, however it is profound.

The first person you send loving kindness to is yourself. You cannot give to others, what you do not have for yourself. Your ability to love, is only as deep as the love you have for yourself.  It is intricately connected.

The second is a good friend. That’s easy to do. Friends are the family we choose. It feels wonderful to send loving kindness their way. It’s easy to send love to people you care about.  It’s like sending them a special gift they will never know they’re getting.

Third is a neutral person. It could be someone you frequently see at the check out in the supermarket,  perhaps your mailman or maybe a neighbor you don’t really know. It feels good sending loving kindness to someone simply because they exist, and are a part of creation.

The fourth is a difficult person. This one is more challenging. Our tendency is to shut down when it comes to difficult people. Some people are not easy to like or love. They try our patience and sometimes make our life miserable. Sending them loving-kindness helps them and it also helps us.

The fifth is all sentient beings. This is one of my favorites. It allows us to expand our awareness far and wide, with good will for everyone. It’s one of the things I love about Buddhist philosophy. It is not just about the improvement of one or a few, it is about rising everyone. We are only as good as our weakness link.

Take ten minutes a day, sit comfortably and go through the list using the simple metta- meditation script below. Repeat four more times, replacing “I” with the names on the list 1 through 5.

May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be free of suffering
May I live in peace
May my life be blessed with ease

This simple practice has many benefits, the best ones are developing inner happiness and peace. It’s a beautiful practice that can be practice by everyone, regardless of your religious beliefs. Sending good intentions helps rise the positive energy of ourselves and our world.